It’s at times like these that I get a little aimless. I’ve recently finished up a major task and need to get onto the next one. Trouble is, I kind of need to pick which one to do next and none of them are jumping out at me saying – pick me, pick me. This isn’t such a good state of mind for me. I don’t like to be idle – unless I’m taking a break. I like to keep busy – not overwhelmed, but active and doing things.
This is a huge understatement and I’m sure if Nicky my wife is reading this she’ll be chuckling to herself. Generally speaking I’m always (over)busy with something or other in some aspect of my life. But overall I don’t like to be aimless – it gets me worried and worse than that, I get bored and then… dun, dun, dun – grumpy – read, unbearable to live with.
If I don’t manage to get properly latched on to the next task in sequence I tend to get horrendously side tracked into who knows what – kind of mad scientist like. My mind flits about from the interest of the moment and doesn’t properly focus on a useful task. So its better if I’m able to manage myself and know what my next task will be so I can mentally prepare myself as I take a relaxing breather between tasks.
Boredom has always been the bane of my existence. The flip side of that for me has been lack of focus. So I’m either excruciatingly bored or from boredom I’ll seek some insane idea that I’ll pursue to the Nth degree. Okay, its not quite that bad… anymore. I have – I suppose – matured or something and its not quite as bad as it was. But there was a time when this was exactly what I would do. As of late, I have somehow managed to wrest some semblance of direction and order in my chaotic approach to choosing what’s next.
I’m not entirely sure why this has happened. Maybe it’s some combination of aging, experience or responsibility. Whatever it is, I see that my son has some of these tendencies and I’m working hard to help him learn focus early. I think it’ll serve him well in life to know his mind and be decisive.