I’ve spent a great deal of time contemplating the arc of my creative efforts. I had it in my mind that I was expected to have a single statement or some unifying theme that would explain all my efforts to date and potentially forecast where I’m going. I’m beginning to feel disillusioned by this process. It’s a fools errand – useful to someone else, but not so much for me.
I’m finding the idea stifling. I need to be unencumbered so I can roam freely through my thoughts and ideas. Maybe, just maybe, its good or perhaps useful to see the forest for the trees – survey the land ahead and know an approximate direction. But I really feel the greatest breakthroughs and creative leaps come out of left field.
That’s not to say creative leaps happen without preparation. You have to lay the groundwork – develop skills – practice – make attempts – do things. You can’t expect breakthroughs to occur with no effort or forethought, but despite the structure of preparation it’s important to stay loose and agile.
I view my recent inward retrospective of past efforts as something that has potentially narrowed the field of my efforts – and I definitely do not want to be limited.
This causes something of a conundrum for me – how to balance between the two opposites of organization and chaos.
I find amazing and striking things arise from chaos. This is exactly what draws me to the abstract work I’ve been making – the unexpected glory that will spontaneously arise from visual chaos. This is NOT random luck but rather careful, prepared, patient, watchful, waiting, for the exact right combination of elements and then the intuitive reach and grasp of that moment. Suddenly you’ve made something incredible.
