Unnamed Fifty One — Sidelong :: (click image to see more)
And what is a moment then? What is the length? There is much beauty in a moment, in drawing out a moment, in smearing out a moment into a wafer thin layer of sight and sound. In doing so, we see a moment’s true composition, it’s fundamental components, it’s elements, it’s structure, it’s essence. So much of which is not so readily apparent when taken as a whole. Particularly when there are so so many more “moments” stacked up behind it steadily and rapidly accreting on it’s heals waiting for us to ingest, digest and comprehend on some higher level – for the high function purpose of survival. So much stimulation and information it’s very difficult to slow down and see – really see, let alone meaningfully think about and consider what we see.
unnamed forty six b — Sidelong :: (click image to see more)
This is all so fleeting and ephemeral – so temporary. Everything we are, everything we do is so transient. Time is a series of events – all temporary. All moments. None permanent. They only remain as memory if they even make it that far and even then only if they are not later culled from the minutia of our lives until all we recall is a general sense of things. So much of what we experience is fleeting and momentary.
Unnamed Thirty Eight — Sidelong :: (click image to see more)
I find it really difficult to keep my perspective – I’m perpetually in the moment, so it’s really difficult to see growth and change. It’s good to be in the moment for creativity but it leads me to despair when I can’t see improvement – which by definition being in the moment won’t allow.
This issue is tightly bound with memory – which for me at least, photographs are a powerful key for. It’s chicken and egg – which comes first. Am I in the moment because I lack memory or is it being in the moment prevents me from properly creating memory. Whichever, I have real problems remembering specifics of the past except in a general kind of large scale sense.
Am I using photography as a crutch for deficient memory?
Rushing Torrent Of Light, 2013 – Light Signatures :: (click to see more)
I read a summary the other day that struck a chord about a book called Present Shock – When Everything Happens Now. I’ve already been thinking a great deal about the present versus the future. I spend a great deal of time with my head in the future – scheduling and planning out my life – partly because I have to in order to operate my business efficiently and painlessly, but I noticed that planning and thinking about the future was becoming something of an obsession. So much that I failed to notice the moment – I was constantly thinking what’s next – just trying to get through the drudgery of the present so I could get to the future – where I would be happy. Except I wasn’t happy when the future arrived and became the present.
It was making the pace of my life insane and it meant I missed out or glossed over the small moments that are the fabric of life. It dawned on me a while ago that my obsessive planning and scheming about the future was interfering with my enjoyment of the process of living – the journey. It was making me feel empty. I realized happiness could only be found by living in the present.
Its funny because all this time I thought I was alone in my obsession and emptiness. According to Douglas Rushkoff this is symptomatic of our current state of affairs ie real time technologies like texting, emailing and social networking – we’re always on. He says we can choose to play an eternal game of catch-up or we can live in the present favouring quality over speed.
I’m trying to live in the moment and it feels better – but its tough to do. Where to draw the line – when it comes to planning or immediacy what things are “necessary” – what things are useful and what things are detrimental. Those are probably personal decisions – everyone’s life and tolerances are different.
I’m amazed how quickly life flies past when I’m not watching closely yet somehow at the same time crawls past with respect to my dreams and goals – its strangely ironic. My son keeps growing and changing – saying more and more interesting, amusing things. It happens so quickly, if I’m not paying constant attention I miss out, but I still believe in the importance of dreaming about the future. Dreams drive us forward and keep us growing but they have their place. There has to be a balance between dreaming and living here, now. Its tricky to balance the vigilance of the moment with the desire to progress in life.
Time marches on, even when we’re watching elsewhere.
