Someone I know saw me early in the beginning of working on Convergent and asked me about the unusual camera rig I was carrying around. I shyly mumbled something about it looking more interesting than it really was and changed the topic. And yet if you were to ask me about say my basement renovation project I would have proudly gone on at length.
Reflecting on this, I believe it’s because building for me is goal oriented – there is a definite direction and absolute conclusion, whereas creative work is not goal oriented. Yes, there is a visualization which does serve as a compass heading but for me creativity is an exploration and a process of discovery. If I say too much out loud I’ll lose momentum – like releasing pressure from a tire the process will go flat. I know this is weird but it seems to be my reality with creative projects. There’s an internal turmoil – a tornado that’s swirls inside me, trying to find resolution with nowhere to release except through creative solution. If I let it out otherwise, it loses potency and I lose direction and focus.
Much of the time I can’t even articulate what I’m doing either – a good deal of what I’m trying is intuitive which I typically can’t explain until later, after contemplating the results.