I’m sitting here listening to I Live In A Suitcase by Thomas Dolby and reading Programming the Universe by Seth Lloyd where he is describing the early stages of our universe and contrasting it with now –
“Planets and suns cluster together to form solar systems. Our solar system clusters together with billions of others to form a galaxy, the Milky Way. The Milky Way, in turn is only one of tens of galaxies in a cluster of galaxies – and our cluster of galaxies is only one cluster in a supercluster.” Programming the Universe, Seth Lloyd
You get the idea. We and our actions are so infinitesimally insignificant in the larger picture that I often wonder what exactly I’m doing and why I bother. Conversely, I think, since it IS my job to learn and make things then I might as well do it with style and without fear, since what the hell I’m so cosmically insignificant anyway.
I think if my life – my very existence – is that insignificant, then I should act accordingly and not bother getting all bent out of shape about things I’m afraid of and things that hurt. Okay, I suppose those things are useful in that they shape my perspective which in turn informs the things I make… hmmm.
Perhaps it would be better to adopt a slightly split attitude. One where I do care and so am still shaped by the elements of my life, but also one where I am ever so slightly disengaged – enough that I am not fearful.
For me, Fear is my greatest foe. It prevents me from acting freely and intuitively, slows me down and wears me out. I have wanted to live without fear for a long time now, but – and here’s the irony… I am afraid to let go. HA! Talk about an infinite loop, I’m trapped. One of these days, I’ll find a way to break free. Either that or I’ll wear a hole in the process and gradually ooze out.
Despite all this, I have resolved to make beautiful – yet insignificant … things. Hopefully in some way I am enriching the larger universe. If nothing else at least I’m doing my part to slow entropy.