Tag: goal

  • Discovery

    Discovery

    Convergent series, day, colour photograph, art, abstract, abstract expressionism, creative, city street, urban, downtown, cityscape, speed, blur, movement, motion, green, orange, yellow, muted, smear, wedges, shape
    Summer Thunderstorm, 2014 – Convergent :: (click to see more)

    Someone I know saw me early in the beginning of working on Convergent and asked me about the unusual camera rig I was carrying around. I shyly mumbled something about it looking more interesting than it really was and changed the topic. And yet if you were to ask me about say my basement renovation project I would have proudly gone on at length.

    Reflecting on this, I believe it’s because building for me is goal oriented – there is a definite direction and absolute conclusion, whereas creative work is not goal oriented. Yes, there is a visualization which does serve as a compass heading but for me creativity is an exploration and a process of discovery. If I say too much out loud I’ll lose momentum – like releasing pressure from a tire the process will go flat. I know this is weird but it seems to be my reality with creative projects. There’s an internal turmoil – a tornado that’s swirls inside me, trying to find resolution with nowhere to release except through creative solution. If I let it out otherwise, it loses potency and I lose direction and focus.

    Much of the time I can’t even articulate what I’m doing either – a good deal of what I’m trying is intuitive which I typically can’t explain until later, after contemplating the results.

  • Method And Madness

    I spend of lot of my time thinking ahead about projects I want to complete. I’m very goal focused – which from time to time leads to crushing depression when I fail those goals. I’ve been noticing how unhappy I’m feeling lately – despite managing to accomplish a great deal and methodically meeting many of my goals. I decided to try and spend less time in my head planning and analyzing new projects and how I can fit all these glorious little nuggets together into the perfect jigsaw puzzle that will become my life and instead to exclusively focus on the present – the now – the moment. This is… impossible, well – difficult at least.

    I’ve been feeling crushingly nostalgic about things I’ve done, people I’ve known, moments I’ve experienced, places I’ve been etc and it dawned on me that perhaps I was nostalgic because I wasn’t paying enough attention to them when they were actually happening. That instead of being in the moment fully experiencing them, I was off somewhere in my head planning away my future – looking past the horizon.

    I still think it’s important to plan and to have plans… but… maybe I need a better balance of present and future in my life. Something more in line with that life is a journey not a destination idea.

    It’s only been a few days so far – but I’m feeling a bit better and a lot less futile about my existence. I still have BIG plans and lots of ideas and goals – of course, but I’m trying really hard to let them simmer in the background while I smell the air and listen to the sounds – and try to be a little less self-absorbed. Difficult, but worth it.

    I think if you boil down all your life’s actions, plans, goals etc, it all comes down to this:
    Did you have a good time?

    And if that is the FINAL word on life – then why not focus on it.